Too Much and Still Not Enough

The first five years of my life was very normal. Happy, even. There were lots of holding hands, hugs, kisses, and "I love you"s

Then it went downhill (which is okay, I'm not gonna fret about that)

When I was around 16 years of age, my youth leader gave us a challenge to tell our parents the three sacred words:

I

love

you

Yeah I know. Emotions and Asians family don't mix. 

I am an overachiever so I did that. I said the magic words; there was so much tears.

And then I got addicted to those words.

I said it after a brief phone call, long, heartfelt letters, on the mirror with my $2 cheap lipstick (I said it to myself. Oh yes I did! We all need some self-loving peeps!), and when I waved goodbyes.

My two brothers can testify that until this day, there will be some random moment when I look (uncomfortably) deeply and seriously into their man eyes and said:

"You know I love you, right? Like I really, really do love you?"

And they will roll their eyes and said "yeah I do!"

Some people said I said it too much. As if it will lost its meaning and become a worthless string of letters.

But humans forget. We always do.

We forgot that we are loved and cherished and celebrated. We forgot to tell people how much they mean to us. We forgot about Calvary and how He loves us.

I once held a girl crying over a tombstone while screaming "I am sorry I have never told you how much I love you".

We forget till it was too late.

 There are moments when I utter the "L" word and I come upon a teary set of eyes and a whisper of "I needed that today".

Those moments are so worth it. So worth the other thousands of "I love you"s  that lay wasted on the floor (Are they ever wasted though?).

I will always say too much "I love you". I will, because it will never be enough. Those three words, overused as they may, are still needed to remind me and us that we are still capable to love and being loved.

So for you who needed it today; know that you are loved. 

Ridiculously, extravagantly loved.