Doing Life With Open Hands

Your Grace has found me just as I am
Empty handed but alive in Your hand
-Majesty; Hillsong & Delirious!-


Nine months after Andrew's bone marrow transplant, and fourteen months after the initial diagnosis. High and lows, storms and shades have come our ways. We pray fervently and kick worry on its teeth with our thanksgiving.

He is the peace in our troubled sea.

Fear scattered in every way, cutting our hearts and faith with its shrapnels and debris. I learned very quickly that what we hold dear in life can be lost in seconds.

We pray for good reports; and we received confirmation of cancer
We pray for an "easy" type of cancer, Andrew got the worst kind
We pray for chemo only, Andrew needed a transplant
We pray for financial support, our insurances refuse to pay

We pray for a donor match; and I am a MATCH!



When it comes to troubles and curveballs in life, we learn very quickly that prayer works but often not in a way that we wanted it to be.

Looking back, there are times when we thought: this is it. But Jesus keep on opening doors. Fourteen months later Andrew is happy and in remission. We still get some scares here and there, but I have learnt to live with open hands.

I have nothing to lose because Jesus and the world owes me nothing. I have been loved, graced and redeemed- and it is more then enough. Yes, my flesh and brain yearn for more. More time, more health, more love, more hugs, more, more and more. But they all value-less in the face of eternity.

So I open my hands and let it all go.
I'm empty handed, but I am alive.
Jesus is here, with me.
That is enough; and so much more then I deserve.



Auds xx