Grace Upon Grace

I hear the term “from glory to glory” too many times growing up. We are forced to dream big and strive for them. Anything that is less then bold or courageous was deemed unworthy. 

Growing up, this dreams have morphed into an ambition; twisted and tangled into a big pile of mess called life. We were wrapped in the comparison trap, our eyes linger upon other people successes.

"Surely everyone goes around like a mere phantom; in vain they rush about, heaping up wealth without knowing whose it will finally be” -Psalm 39:6

The over-glorification of busy and the adrenaline-pumping rush have taken our days. We are swirled in a vortex of “doing more”. 

What’s the point?

I was watching a drama comedy/chick-flick movie called Two Nights Stand (Seems like a good idea for a lazy winter night. Don’t judge). In a scene, the girl was explaining that she ended up in the big city because she was following the love of her life. She took med school, graduated and that “love of her life” cheated on her. She was telling her story of how she didn’t want to be a doctor, or an accountant, or a lawyer.

She wants to be a wife. A mother.

And how everyone was looking at her weirdly every time she utters this dreams.

What if our dreams are not complex and sophisticated? What if it wasn’t glorious but it was graceful? A faithful, simple life with breathing spaces and dirty fingers. Simple is not boring. There’s a certain strength in the mundane of life; a life that is led by grace upon grace.

What if our blueprint wasn’t meant for fame? What if our life was meant to be a piece of wood in Chris’s cradle? Or a stick in Moses’ hands? Or one of that five loaves of bread that end up being unseen in the midst of the greatest miracle in the history of gastronomy? Some of us are not built as a chandelier in the palace. But that palace can’t be build without that simple, boring building blocks that stands through the ages. 

We are all made for a purpose; and comparing that purpose will result in insecurity and self-pity. We are build for HIM; the God that treat the prostitute as kindly as He treated His disciples. A God who sees us and loves us because we are His. The One who says “come” to the overlooked and the overburdened.

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” Matthew 11:28-30

How on earth do we miss this? We strain our heart and strength while we were built to life in rest. In the unforced rhythms of grace.

Simplify, dear heart (and my over-worrying brain), and find rest in Him. This is what we are built for.

How to Be Kind When You're Hurting

Kindness is hard on normal life, and it's even harder to do when you are going through the valley. Kindness requires you to look outside your misery and troubles and put "a good thing" in someone's life.

But how can you give away a good thing when everything in you is hollow and painful? How can you spare a moment of kindness when you yourself are struggling to catch your breath?

Our natural tendency as a human being is to communicate our heart as best as we can. That is why when we are hurting everything that ooze out from us is crass and sarcastic. We simply want to communicate our hurt. Garbage in, garbage out.

The thing is we tend to hurt people when we are hurting, because we want them to feel our pain!

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are--yet he did not sin. (Hebrew 4:5)

If there'a anyone who can be deemed as a "master of the valleys", Jesus would definitely fit the category. He has been betrayed, left alone, cursed, misunderstood and well, crucified. Yet, He is the kindest human being who have ever walked on earth. 

It's not about HOW we communicate our hurt, it's WHO we communicate our hurt TO. We tried to fix our "means of communication" and our "conflict resolution" technique and yet we still end up hurting (ourselves and each other).

One of those days Jesus went to a mountainside to pray, and spent the night praying to God (Luke 6:12)

Apparently Jesus also have "one of those days"! One of those days, when everything goes wrong. One of those days when people hurt you, or when sorrows suffocates you. 

He choose to spend the night praying to God.

God is the only one that can take our hurt, our pain and our tears. He is big enough, strong enough and gentle enough to bear our burden and suffering.... Cast your worries to Him because He cares (1 Peter 5:7)

The only way you can be kind to people is when you give all your hurt to God

When you give all your hurt to God, He will fill you with His goodness and kindness... and that my friend is the only way we can be kind to other human being.

Detours and Rain and Loss

Your story isn’t calm.

The road has been chaotic at times, filled with detours and rain and loss so sudden and soon.

Sometimes the bliss was so elevated your heart could hardly hold it.

Sometimes it was maddening to have, and then to lose.

You learn soon enough that it hardly ever goes as planned

– gentle, easy, and smooth.

But that my friend is what makes us fascinating.

You have something to tell

Something you’ve walked through.

Something wild.

Something courageous.

Something true.

You are made of stories within stories within even more stories.

Those quiet depths you.

-Victoria Erickson-

Happiness is A Scary, Scary Thing

I have been going through life hurt and battered. I’m so used to bad news and crying through the night. Battlefield doesn’t scare me. Valleys are not my enemies. I have been through them and I expected many, many more of them in years to come.

You know what I didn’t expect? Good things. 

Something good happened to me; and it scares the heck out of me. I have always been enamoured by grace and God’s goodness, but this…. this, my friend, is something else.

Sometimes you see something good happens to other people and you are happy for them and this little thought of lies creep into your head.

They deserve that. I don’t.

Good things scares me. Happy heart is a very vulnerable heart, because the thing that makes you happy can be taken away from you in a heartbeat. Losing an arm is easier when you are born with it. You can’t miss what you don’t have. 

Being happy require boldness and bravery. Happy for me is like putting your heart outside your body, which means you are so vulnerable to have your heart broken.

It’s so much easier to be a skeptic, a cynic, or a pessimist. Every relationship has its risk. Every friendship, every hugs and every kisses. Being rejected make sense more than being loved. We are all very familiar with our flaws, but not with our worthiness to be loved.

The truth, however, is an entirely different story.

So, what do you think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose? If God didn’t hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn’t gladly and freely do for us? And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God’s chosen? Who would dare even to point a finger? The One who died for us—who was raised to life for us!—is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ’s love for us? There is no way! Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed in Scripture:

They kill us in cold blood because they hate you.

We’re sitting ducks; they pick us off one by one.

None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us. I’m absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God’s love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us.

(Romans 8:31-39)

Jesus loves us….and He knows our curves and our flaws and our edges. Yeah, yeah…. You might be saying “but that’s Jesus! He is perfect. Of course He loves me!” Why is it so hard for us to believe that other flawed human being can love our flawed self? Maybe not as perfect as how Jesus loves us -which is why He should always be our primary source of love- but sweetheart, maybe having your heart pulsing outside your body is not a bad thing.!

Our hearts are born wild, that is why our ribs are cages. Our hearts are meant to roam free. Yes, sometimes it will be smushed and broken and tattered but the journey would be oh so worth it…. and maybe one day, one glorious day, we will find another heart that beats wild and true like ours.

A heart that was meant run with ours.