Battle Scars

There are a few things that I always ashamed of admitting in my whole entire life:

I can't eat apples (I hate the squeaky crunch when you bite it...eerghhhh). I can munch a scorpion but not apples.
I never got the chance to learn how to bike
I am a Chinese who speaks fluent English and zero Mandarin.

I did not put "can't" on my second point because I believe that I can totally ride a bike...my dad just brutally robbed my chance of learning when I was a kid. I think he saw the adrenaline-junkie side of me and decided he is keeping me safe by ensuring I will never be able to dirt bike. Or ride a Harley. Ever.

The thing is, when we got to Chi-land, electric bike is the ONLY way to travel. So I got my chance to learn. The funny thing is, now everyone suddenly take an enormous concern of my safety. Yes, China is NOT the safest place to ride anything-not even your own two legs. But I did it anyway. My dad got two electric bike and I manage to fall three times in two days. My legs are all blue and bruised. I once have a piece of skin/meat dangling from my left toe. My knees are scraped repeatedly. It hurt to walk for a week or so. The worst part was that my legs looks horrible.

Some of my dad's friends who were helping us here laugh at me-half snorting, half admiring the facts that I just don't care- because every single time they see me I have a new scar/scrapes/bruises.

The truth? I do care.

I wore maxi dresses and leggings for days. I bought cute band-aids (Disney collection, as always). I hate looking at my legs because they're ugly.

It's funny because as my ugly-looking legs are sapping my attentions, my bike-riding skill increased rapidly. But I seriously don't care.. I just want my pretty legs back.

It's funny how we focused so much on our battle scars that we forgot what we have won. How we focused so much on a little dent on across our eyebrow that we got when we snowboard/hang-glide/doing some adrenaline-junkie activities. I have friends who hides their surgery scars or old wounds from the dark days.

The thing is, I think we gave our battle scars way too much attention. Battle scars are not trophies; they are proof that we have either won a war or we are bold enough to walk into one.

I think battle scars are often misuse in two extremes: over-glorified or hidden in shame. People over-glorified their scars when they use them as an excuse for a leeway or convincing themselves that they deserve something better just because they went through a battle. People hid their scars because they were ashamed and feel like the whole world are judging or pitied them - mostly because they are usually get thrown into battlefield out of their will.

Battle scars need to be put as it is. They are leftover marks of what we have been through; and everyONE has been through something. The truth is, you are constantly in battle; just different devils and different hells. The scars are just there. Stop licking it. Move on and learn your lesson from each battles.

I'm rambling. Stopping now.

xx