Monday, January 28, 2013

The One With Rest


Cripple coming through! Yep. Two Friday ago I bent down to pick up... something...and the next thing I know I was on the floor, and I stayed there for another hour. My back feels like... well.. pure pain. Crawled my way to the couch in the living room and stayed there for the night. Super.

The next morning my friend-with-a-heart-of-gold +priscilla novani came with painkillers and meds  and she drove me to church that arvo (with Jakarta traffic, this means she really, really, really, really likes me). Then she gave me a "don't you dare jumping and breaking your back" stare-down the whole time during worship. Gotta love true friends!

Ok. Now to the main point.

At that time, Jakarta was flooded. Heavily. And if you ever know me I would be the first one to jump in the first opportunity to help. The church set up a refugee center/food bank for the flood victims which is totally awesome. The thing is, well, I can't even WALK properly. Urgh.

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

The One With the Homesickness


Have been pondering a lot over the word "home" these days. 


Not helpful, considering I am very much homesick and missing Sydney so much it hurts. The funny thing is, my dad sort-of 'overheard' my Skype convo with a friend regarding how homesick I am and  said "But you are home?"


Am I?


Let's start with what I describe at home:

Saturday, January 12, 2013

The One With I Love You More

@kennysgoh has done it again. Seriously, if anyone here was at @OxygenJPCC you would know what I was saying.

During the sermon my brain was going faster than the speed of light. As a result, it has time travelled back to when I was saved. When I first know Him who loved me.

We were discussing 1 Corinthians 13 tonight. Yes, is that sappy-yet-always-make-your-heart-warm sort of passage. I have loved that passage for so many years, as well as feeling intimidated with that. My Sunday school told me that 1 Corinthians 13 is a benchmark of how to love.

I successfully failed.

Are you freakin serious?

Love is kind - I threw a massive pout on a waiter who was rude to me yesterday
Love is patience - hahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Love keeps no record of wrong - only if I enter Blackbriar program and become the next Jason Bourne.
Love always protects, always trust, always hope - yes, if you never disappoint or betray me... Which include no one....

See? Utterly, miserably, superbly defeated.

But somehow I always found that passage enchanting. And as I started to think that I was a masochist  because I keep on putting unrealistic expectation on myself, I found out why this passage capture my heart.

Thanks to @kennysgoh and @maxlucado


Love is not a character. Love is a person. Love is Jesus.

Jesus is kind.
Jesus is patience.
Jesus keeps no record of wrongs (HALLELUJAH!!!)

See? Now that passage is sooooooooo much better. And that explains why my heart is so drawn to that passage. It describes Jesus. It describe how He loves us. It describe Himself. This passage describe His graceful, generous, unreserved love that He lavished happily to us.

When you read more of 1 Corinthians 13, Paul said that "if I do not have love, I am nothing". In my old framework that line means :: if you can't love people like how it's described in the passage, see ya. Pack your knife and go. You're fired. Auf wiedersehen. You are not qualified for the next round. Buh-bye. New framework? If I don't have Jesus, I am nothing. I cannot agree more.


My favourite reply to the people in my world when they say they love me is "I love you more"

I can never say that to Jesus, and for that I am grateful.




Friday, January 11, 2013

The One With The Tantrum

Like, seriously?

How old am I? Just threw a crazy inside-emotional-I-hate-people-comment. All because I am not giving enough "selah" moment for myself. Just realised how introverted I am.

Isn't funny that you live with yourself for your whole life and some of the time your emotion just refuse to sync with your brain.



Connection failed. Try again later.



Easy for you to say..... 😡😤😡😡😤😡😤😤😤😤😤😡😡😡😡

My tantrum is for sure quickly becoming a rumpelstiltskin!!!

Ok but in all seriousness, during my so-called tantrum I realised how close he is. You know how there's sometime an awkward moment when you are really,really sad and people just disappear or ignore you because they don't know what to do? I really hate that.

But that never happens with Jesus.

Have you read Psalm? Hello? Most of Psalms are complaints. Yep. Read carefully. Not just Psalm 23.

In some verses, David was really -well- ticked off. And sad. And hurting. And angry. And the other skadoosh that you can imagine.

But he choose to pour it out to God. Over and over again. This means that the first time he did that God DID answer him. Or at least didn't strike him with a thunder blast.

What I am trying to say is, God is big enough. Always. He is not scared of you complaining or being whiny or that your attitudes reeks like the sewer system (like mine now). He LOVES me. He STILL loves me. Yes, He would prefer if I don't throw a tantrum -mostly because He knows tantrum is actually tiring and will make me super hungry- but EVEN IF I did, He can handle it. He is so #prodigal with His patience. He is so, so big.

Strangely, the understanding that He cares, He knows and that He is big enough calm my stinky attitude.

His love make me wants to please Him even more. I am loved, therefore I can (at least try harder) to love people 😁😁😁😁

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

The One Where It All Begin

The Prodigal :: The One Who Wasted Something Valuable on Nothing


Prodigal. That word capture my heart since the first time I've heard it. In Sunday School, the  Luke 15:11-32 must be my favorite story of all time.

A year ago, my connect group leader at that point introduced me to Timothy Keller's book, the prodigal God. My heart and my head almost burst into smithereens upon the revelation of God's "prodigality". While the son was called prodigal because he wasted his dad's money on, well, nothing; the Father shares the same trait in the manner of dispensing His love.

He wasted His love on His sons.

Yes. If you are thinking: are you saying that we are nothing? Looking back in my life the one thing that I have realized is how much 'nothingness' that existed. How I spend my time, my heart, and my mind on the things that are good for nothing. What surprised me the most is that the moments in my life that I actually, vividly, unashamedly remember is the one that I spent with Him, or doing what He says.

In this section, my second magic word came in: The Rumpelstitskin


The Rumpelstitskin :: The One Who We Allow To Make Us Who We Are


Some of you guys might heard this word before. Rumplestitskin. Beside hard to spell, this word is actually represent a character in a story (that I shall later post).

Rumpelstitskin represents the people, the atitudes, the things that we allow to define who we are. In the Prodigal Son story, Rumplestitskin can clearly be seen all over it. For the first son, his "rumpelstitskins" is his gluttony, his "high-end" life, and his lust for the ultimate freedom. The second son's are his pride, his title, and  -of course- his money (remember that when the little rascal left the house, everything become the oldest's - hence the money for the p-artay at the end was supposed to be his as well!).

The catch is: rumplestitskins always have a price tag attach on them. In the real fairy tale, the price was the princess' son. The eldest son's is his family, his happiness and his youth. For the youngest son the price tag was...well, at the end he became a pig-caretaker. Need I say more?

My rumplestitskin? Oh dear.... Hence the blog! That's how much rumplestistskin I have :p

How do you defeat your Rumpelstitskin? I will be posting that one in a short moment.

Let's get to the last part: the Ragamuffin

The Ragamuffin: The Dirty, Rugged One


Saw a book over at Instagram (Thank you Jesus for Insta) called the "Ragamuffin Gospel" one day. Do u know how sometime you saw a piece of cake that yells your name? This book shouted to my soul. The result: Kindle impromptu-shopping. 

In this book, Brennan Manning describe a ragamuffin :: a burnt-out, broken, beaten up human being who all in all realize his/her "ragamuffin"-ness and at the end, realize how much grace we needs. 

Ragamuffins have no pride, no demands, no expectations. They might even have lost hope. They have seen to much in life to know that they can't do it themselves. 

In my experience, ragamuffins are the kindest souls in the history of humans and eternity. Because they have been there, have done that. They don't judge. They hold your hands while you are going through the valley of the shadows of the death so you won't be alone, assuring you that someone cares. Ragamuffins are a bit like Jesus because they have openly, unreservedly, accept His grace and forgiveness knowing that they are hopeless. As they accepted Him they become more like Him. We are what we fixed our eyes upon.

In the story of the Prodigal Son, the youngest son become a ragamuffin when he decide that the only hope he has is in his Father's mercy and grace. I bet my bottom dollar that after that day, he will never take his father's love for granted again (I surely hope so!If not I may beat him into a tiny pulp). 

Those who have lost everything, who have realized our nothingness can put our trust in our Father knowing that we have nothing to lose, and we are of no value whatsoever.

What a beautiful coincidence, that our Father in heaven is a Prodigal God. He is more than happy to lavish His love to us -wasteful, invaluable, burnt-out and broken us.

This is what this blog will be about.












The One With The Happily (N)ever After



Once upon a time....


Don't you just love that line? Ok. Moving on. This is the background story  of Rumplestiltskin. 

WARNING! This is a brother's Grimm story and NOT Disney. It's pretty depressing compared o the fairy tale la-la-land, but I actually love Grimm's since they actually paint a pretty brilliant picture of how dark and twisted we can be. Yep. Enjoy ;)


Rumpelstiltskin



Once there was a miller who was poor, but who had a beautiful daughter. Now it happened that he had to go and speak to the king, and in order to make himself appear important he said to him, "I have a daughter who can spin straw into gold."

     The king said to the miller, "That is an art which pleases me well, if your daughter is as clever as you say, bring her to-morrow to my palace, and I will put her to the test."
     
     And when the girl was brought to him he took her into a room which was quite full of straw, gave her a spinning-wheel and a reel, and said, "Now set to work, and if by to-morrow morning early you have not spun this straw into gold during the night, you must die."

     Thereupon he himself locked up the room, and left her in it alone. So there sat the poor miller's daughter, and for the life of her could not tell what to do, she had no idea how straw could be spun into gold, and she grew more and more frightened, until at last she began to weep.

     But all at once the door opened, and in came a little man, and said, "Good evening, mistress miller, why are you crying so?"
     "Alas," answered the girl, "I have to spin straw into gold, and I do not know how to do it."
     "What will you give me," said the manikin, "if I do it for you?"
     "My necklace," said the girl.

     The little man took the necklace, seated himself in front of the wheel, and whirr, whirr, whirr, three turns, and the reel was full, then he put another on, and whirr, whirr, whirr, three times round, and the second was full too. And so it went on until the morning, when all the straw was spun, and all the reels were full of gold.

     By daybreak the king was already there, and when he saw the gold he was astonished and delighted, but his heart became only more greedy. He had the miller's daughter taken into another room full of straw, which was much larger, and commanded her to spin that also in one night if she valued her life. The girl knew not how to help herself, and was crying, when the door opened again, and the little man appeared, and said, "What will you give me if I spin that straw into gold for you?"
     "The ring on my finger," answered the girl.
     The little man took the ring, again began to turn the wheel, and by morning had spun all the straw into glittering gold.

     The king rejoiced beyond measure at the sight, but still he had not gold enough, and he had the miller's daughter taken into a still larger room full of straw, and said, "You must spin this, too, in the course of this night, but if you succeed, you shall be my wife."
     Even if she be a miller's daughter, thought he, I could not find a richer wife in the whole world.
     When the girl was alone the manikin came again for the third time, and said, "What will you give me if I spin the straw for you this time also?"
     "I have nothing left that I could give," answered the girl.
     "Then promise me, if you should become queen, to give me your first child."
     Who knows whether that will ever happen, thought the miller's daughter, and, not knowing how else to help herself in this strait, she promised the manikin what he wanted, and for that he once more spun the straw into gold.

     And when the king came in the morning, and found all as he had wished, he took her in marriage, and the pretty miller's daughter became a queen.
     A year after, she brought a beautiful child into the world, and she never gave a thought to the manikin. But suddenly he came into her room, and said, "Now give me what you promised."
     The queen was horror-struck, and offered the manikin all the riches of the kingdom if he would leave her the child. But the manikin said, "No, something alive is dearer to me than all the treasures in the world."
     Then the queen began to lament and cry, so that the manikin pitied her.
     "I will give you three days, time," said he, "if by that time you find out my name, then shall you keep your child."

     So the queen thought the whole night of all the names that she had ever heard, and she sent a messenger over the country to inquire, far and wide, for any other names that there might be. When the manikin came the next day, she began with Caspar, Melchior, Balthazar, and said all the names she knew, one after another, but to every one the little man said, "That is not my name."

     On the second day she had inquiries made in the neighborhood as to the names of the people there, and she repeated to the manikin the most uncommon and curious. Perhaps your name is Shortribs, or Sheepshanks, or Laceleg, but he always answered, "That is not my name."

     On the third day the messenger came back again, and said, "I have not been able to find a single new name, but as I came to a high mountain at the end of the forest, where the fox and the hare bid each other good night, there I saw a little house, and before the house a fire was burning, and round about the fire quite a ridiculous little man was jumping, he hopped upon one leg, and shouted -
     'To-day I bake, to-morrow brew,
     the next I'll have the young queen's child.
     Ha, glad am I that no one knew
     that Rumpelstiltskin I am styled.'"

     You may imagine how glad the queen was when she heard the name. And when soon afterwards the little man came in, and asked, "Now, mistress queen, what is my name?"
     At first she said, "Is your name Conrad?"
     "No."
     "Is your name Harry?"
     "No."
     "Perhaps your name is Rumpelstiltskin?"
     "The devil has told you that! The devil has told you that," cried the little man, and in his anger he plunged his right foot so deep into the earth that his whole leg went in, and then in rage he pulled at his left leg so hard with both hands that he tore himself in two.