Doing Life With Open Hands

Your Grace has found me just as I am
Empty handed but alive in Your hand
-Majesty; Hillsong & Delirious!-


Nine months after Andrew's bone marrow transplant, and fourteen months after the initial diagnosis. High and lows, storms and shades have come our ways. We pray fervently and kick worry on its teeth with our thanksgiving.

He is the peace in our troubled sea.

Fear scattered in every way, cutting our hearts and faith with its shrapnels and debris. I learned very quickly that what we hold dear in life can be lost in seconds.

We pray for good reports; and we received confirmation of cancer
We pray for an "easy" type of cancer, Andrew got the worst kind
We pray for chemo only, Andrew needed a transplant
We pray for financial support, our insurances refuse to pay

We pray for a donor match; and I am a MATCH!

Can You Come Over and Hug Me?

Life can be tough sometimes. The worst part of being in a storm is thinking if these waves ever gonna stop-you can feel it up your nose and in your mouth (figuratively speaking, of course).

That is how I felt last night - a wash of exhaustion, inadequacy, and feeling unloved - whirled into a space between my head and my heart and it stayed there.

The funny thing is my prayer was not for fixing. Heck, I didn't even pray for someone to save me.

I was praying for someone to hug me.

Because crap happens and life happens and you know that until we come back home to our Father's arm; it's a freakin' battlefield.